


Perchance to Dream

by Exposedma



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Comfort, F/M, Season 2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 00:17:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9467027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Exposedma/pseuds/Exposedma
Summary: Allura struggles with the aftermath of Shiro's disappearance.





	

Shiro was gone. His absence was a wound, it ached in her gut, caged her breath and battered her heart. Her eyes burned with unshed tears, denial in every painful breath. Allura fell into herself, shutting down, taking to her mission of finding Shiro with manic zeal. She was an observer floating over the Princess of Altea, a visitor in her own body, in a universe gone wrong. It hadn’t been a dream, they’de landed a crippling blow to the Galra empire and Zarkon. They received reports from the Blades of Marmoa that confirmed instability in the government, and rumours of either a dead or dying Zarkon. There were whispers of the return of the crown prince but nothing concrete. Allura filed the information away, ever the diplomat and tactician; there was still work to be done. Her heart, however, rebelled at the absurd state of being she’d been forced into, Shiro was gone. 

She counted the night cycles, refusing to sleep, believing, albeit irrationally, that by remaining conscious of the passage of time, that it would somehow slow, she didn’t want to get used to him not being there. Exhaustion forced her hand, and she dragged a blanket to the black lions cockpit, curling up on the chair and inhaling Shiro’s lingering scent. Her dreams were a place where he existed, wry grins and gentle words. In her dreams she didn’t hold back and kissed him whenever she saw him; untroubled at the idea of acting on her love for the black paladin.

Keith found her in the black lion, what little sleep she did manage to get did nothing to hide the heavy circles under her eyes. His voice intruded on her dreams, changing the cadence of Shiro’s voice until he vanished, and she was forced back into bleak reality, flushed and wanting. She jerked to her feet and began gathering her things. 

“You should pilot Black, Allura.” Keith called after her as she stepped onto the ramp. “Shiro won’t mind, besides Red is really attached to me, Black knows you and knows how close you were to Shiro, he won’t mind.”

“No closer than I was to the rest of the paladins,” she lied while sweeping her heavy locks into a bun. 

Keith stopped her, the gentle touch earning a flinch. To his credit Keith pretended not to notice, “He talked about you, Princess. He cared about you, he-”

“I have duties to attend to Keith. I’ll consider your suggestion in case of emergency only. I’ll leave it to you to tell the others.” Allura fled from the hangar vowing never spend the night inside of the Black Lion again. If she slowed her breath and listened past the hum of the castle ships engines she could almost hear Shiro’s voice still flitting through the back of her mind; echos of a too-sweet dream fraying her control.

Days turned to weeks, insomnia continued to plague her but Allura pushed herself to breaking, never leaving herself much time for introspection and daydreams where thoughts of Shiro invaded and tore her to shreds. She dedicated herself to mentoring Keith, testing her abilities with quintessence manipulation. She subjected herself to Pidge’s testing in an effort to understand her newly awoken powers, in return she tutored the youngest paladin in Altean language and culture. She slept in hidden corners of the castle, too exhausted to dream, in positions too uncomfortable to sleep well in. Coran did his best to get her to rest, to get her to open up about her loss, which was everyone’s loss but she couldn’t find the words to describe the wrongness of reality, she refused to voice her worst fears and insisted she was fine.

The remaining paladins pulled in ranks, leaning heavily on each other. They touched, hugged, reassuring each other whenever they entered the other’s orbit. They attempted to bring Allura into their world, to touch her, and reassure but there was still a distance between them, a distance previously bridged by Shiro’s presence. Shiro who could see right to the quick of her with a look and the whisper of a touch. So Allura gave the remaining paladins the same platitudes she gave Coran. She’d spied Lance gripping Keith in a tight embrace, his narrow shoulders shaking in grief. She’d followed the sounds of low murmurs and sniffles to find Hunk in the kitchen sitting on the floor hugging his knees with Pidge sitting beside him holding his hand. Allura could never bring herself to share in their comfort, receding from their offers of friendly affection and understanding, an outsider to their easy intimacy. 

Weeks turned to months, and Shiro’s scent inside the Black lion’s cockpit faded, replaced by Allura’s own. The stilted silence between her and the paladins began to see glimmers of familiar banter. Distress calls and diplomatic missions began taking precedence over their search for their missing friend. They formed Voltron time and again to fight against Galra retribution. After one particularly hard won victory Allura found herself laughing at one of Lance's jokes, each shake of her shoulders unloosing needles of guilt into her gut . Her tears remained locked behind lashes, evidence of hopelessness she would never admit to, she wouldn't grieve for a man who wasn’t dead. 

 

It was late into the night cycle on the ship, the paladins, Coran and even the mice were all sleeping. Allura was on the bridge running diagnostics, sending out sensor drones and reviewing information her previous drones had sent back. She was looking for anything that might hint at Shiro’s whereabouts. She almost didn’t notice the moving seventh blip on the security screen. It wasn’t registering as an intruder. Allura rubbed her face and tapped the screen pulling up security camera feed. Her heart lodged into her throat as familiar black and white hair strode out of view. Allura mumbled to herself, pulling up the next camera on the ghost blips trajectory, “can’t be possible…” She couldn’t get a clear view on the cameras, always a moment too late to get a clear view, but she saw the metal of his hand, the familiar shape of his back, strong shoulders. He was headed towards the bridge and Allura turned in anticipation of the doors opening. 

Shiro walked onto the bridge, a hand rubbing at his temple, the scar on his nose bridge crinkling as he took in the dark bridge and Allura backlit in the blue of the half dozen open windows of her workspace. Allura’s hand covered her mouth and she slowly shook her head. 

“Princess? What’s going on?” Shiro’s voice was rough and he cleared his throat, “we were fighting Zarkon, but I think I blacked out…”

Allura closed the space between them stopping short of touching him, shaking hands hovering over his chest feeling the natural heat of his body in the space between them. Her vision blurred and cleared only to blur again, It was Shiro’s hands on her cheeks rubbing away the tears that brought about the realization that she’d started crying. He shushed her pulling her into his chest and she gripped his familiar black vest.

“You vanished.” Her voice cracked, “After the fight we towed in your lion and you were gone.” She ended on a sob, “we thought you were dead.” Shiro’s arms tightened around her.

“How long have I been gone?” He whispered into her hair.  
“Seventy five quintents,” Allura said easing her hands open so she could smooth the line between his brows with a finger, “too long.” His chest rose with a sharp intake of breath. 

“I...remember floating, I think. Feelings, but no thoughts and then waking up in my lion.” He took a step back from her, “I need to sit down.” Allura helped him into a chair, but when she attempted to give him space he grabbed her hand and shook his head, “I don’t want to float away again.” She nodded and let him pull her into his lap and wrap his arms around her, she wrapped herself around him in turn, inhaling his familiar scent, watched the dancing pulse on his neck and roamed over his face and shoulders with still shaking hands. Every touch an affirmation that he was alive, and that it wasn’t another bittersweet dream. 

“You won’t float away, Shiro. Whatever happened we’ll figure it out together, what’s important is that you’re back from wherever you were.” Her cheeks were still wet, and her vision continued to blur, her voice a shaky whisper full of cracks. Her throat constricted around the lump lodged within it. “I missed you so much.” 

Shiro tightened his arms around her waist and pressed his forehead against her shoulder, “I’m sorry.” 

Allura brought his face back to her, caging him with tender but firm fingers, she bit her lower lip and shook her head at him. He had nothing to apologize for, but she couldn’t get the words out, so she kissed him instead. It tasted of salt, and her lips trembled against his, it lasted a heartbeat. Their breath mingled, Allura brushed her nose against his, Shiro’s short exhale was music. Their lips met again, softer this time but growing desperate. Her world spun into a realm of soft noises barely heard above the rush of her pulse. Allura fisted Shiro’s shirt in her hands, while Shiro gripped the back of her neck to pull her closer. The first glide of his tongue pulled a whine from her throat, and she let him taste her and tasted in turn. She thrummed with desire, her heart wild against her ribs as she drank him into her. Shiro’s lips were soft and slightly chapped, his teeth sharp but gentle when he worried her lip. The stubble on his chin was rough against her face, and his scent, the one she’d lost, filled her with each short desperate breath she took through her nose. She whimpered into his mouth, and he answered with a quiet shuddered moan. They broke apart panting in air, Allura’s world was bursting with colour again, spinning and loud, right. 

“Should we wake the others up and let them know I’m back?” Shiro tucked a wispy strand of white hair behind her ear. 

“Let them sleep, I rather enjoy having you all to myself at the moment. We’ll tell them in the morning.” She smiled and leaned towards him once more, his kiss-bruised lips returned her ardor, and Shiro hummed a contented sigh when she withdrew. Allura curled herself more comfortably onto his lap, pulling her legs up and tucking her head under his chin. He kissed the top of her head and she was perfectly, deliriously happy. 

Exhaustion dogged at her, but she fought it murmuring a quiet conversation with him. The rumble of his voice was a balm for her body, his strong heartbeat music. He rubbed her back and her eyes drooped. She startled when he rose with her in his arms, “shhh, you need to sleep, Allura, I’m just bringing you to your room.”

“I don’t want to sleep,” but she closed her eyes and laid her head against his chest, “what if you’re gone when I wake up?” 

Allura startled again when he laid her on her bed unaware that she’d drifted off in his arms. Shiro settled beside her, and she twisted until she was facing him, a leg thrown over his hips, her head on his arm, the need to touch him overwhelming her. “Are you sure this isn’t a dream?” 

His fingers brushed against her neck and he kissed her forehead, “it’s not a dream this time.” 

“Promise?” 

“Promise. I’ll be right here in the morning.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's been almost a year since last writing something. Comments are appreciated, please be kind.


End file.
